It’s scary to think that somebody has the power to make you feel on top of the world or like a fucking piece of shit under someone’s shoe. It’s scary that to think that you gave them that power over you.
So I walked into the dentist this morning. My dentist asked me how my weekend was. I said “Good, I watched Captain America last night. I really liked it.” And my dentist says “Oh, my son is in that movie.” At first I thought he was joking but then I realized
Dr. Robert Evans
I looked it up
My dentist is Captain America’s dad
My doctor is JK Rowling’s husband.
JK Rowling’s husband has asked me if I am sexually active.
so my dad’s friend was bartending and saw a guy put something in a girl’s drink so while the guy turned around he switched their drinks and watched the guy roofie himself
just be careful with hogwarts aus because sorting characters into the perfect house isn’t a joke you gotta spend time and effort figuring that shit out i expect a 5 paragraph essay explaining your choice on my desk by morning
honestly saying “youre a twig lets get some meat on those bones” is just as offensive and embarrassing as “youre fat, watch what you eat” may not seem like it but trust me
"u dont need makeup to be pretty just be urself!!!"
ok but consider this
- i fucking love eyeliner
"sir what you did is literally 100 percent illegal"
"ok but get this: im a rich white person"
"oh sorry about that sir"